Conflict Resolution

What If It’s Me and Not You?

everything that irritates

“My co-worker really made me mad yesterday. He was so insensitive to my concerns! You should’ve heard what he said. The way he blew me off was just plain wrong and really has me upset and angry.”

For many of us, our knee-jerk reaction to disagreements or conflict situations is to look at the other person. To cast blame ‘over there’. Away from me. I can clearly see what “his problem is” yet am blind to my own contributions and shrug off any suggestion that I might be part of the problem too.

In my work with tons of organizations and teams, I’ve rarely encountered the person who easily or automatically starts by looking for his or her part in creating a conflict. After all, self-preservation is hardwired into our brains!

Yet, blame, finger-pointing, stonewalling, triangulating, or avoiding, never serve any of us.

What if I did contribute to the frustration I experienced yesterday? What if I began by looking inward…

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